#but im sososos happy thats what i came home to

[ellearts]

Happy Home Grand Prix :DDDD a bit late but I hope things go well :,)))

AAAAAAAAAA THANKYOU THANKYOU BELOVED CATIE <33

its alright i also just got home,and things ARE SO FINE IM so happy and I'm so tired but I'm SO HAPPY

[tetzoro]

MY PRECIOUS AIMSIES !! hihi my love !! :3 how are you doing these days ?! was your weekend good ?? i gots to know !! PLZ you’re so sweet, i’m so glad i can make your day just by popping in on your inbox !! it seriously makes me giggle and kick my feet while i read your response, my heart gets all giddy fr !! >-< my long ask awaits you… here i go !! T^T

AHHH yesyes, so this past weekend kou did treat me to a lil special date !! how did you know ?! >.< we went to an ice cream shop and got some yummy cones :p and then we for a nice little walk around town before cooking a nice dinner at home and snuggling up <3

oh my gosh… double date planning time ?! IM ALL EARS !! EEEP an arcade sounds SOSOSO fun !! PLZ we seriously would be just watching it all go down… it’s free entertainment at that point HELP !! TEEHEE IM GIGGLING i can imagine the little sweat drops after they lose a game… it’s followed by atleast 10 more “ the next one i’ll win for you !! for sure this time !!” to no avail i fear </3 that’s when me and you come in to save the day and show those boys whos BOSS !! >.< this double date has to happen real soon aimsies !! me and bo will definitely be there !! <3

stop… THE aimsies missed lil ol’ me ?? SOBS pls I MISSED YOU SOSO MUCH !! i kept checking to make sure i wouldn’t miss your return, i just had to make sure i’d be there to wish you a warm welcome back <3 PLZ tumblr can definitely be overwhelming thats soso understandable, but your here and thriving and that’s what matters !! im so glad the hiatus went well for you aimsies, you deserved it :> AND OMG your responses make ME feel loved !! it’s a win win and im so glad i can make you happy with my silly ramblings T^T

WAHH words of affirmation with kuroo, i seriously can’t get over how cute you two are !! you hit the jackpot, because he definitely would master any love language in the book just to see you happy <3 HELP OH MY GOODNESS, me and tinky catsonas would be SOSOSO cute !! PLZ kou definitely would be a super fluffy kitty, i think you might be talking about a ragdoll or a mainecoon ?? theres so many fluffy kitties out there HELP but YES he definitely would be SO FLUFFY !! one day i MUST send a drawing of you and kuroo’s catsonas, i just can’t stop thinking about how cute they would be !! >.<

WHATT I GUESSED IT ?! YIPEEE !! WHERE DID KUROO TAKE YOU ?! i MUST know all the fun details !! >_<

oh yes… kuroo must be magical for real !! he loves you sosoSO much PLS !! im telling kuroo to go give you so many hugs and kisses and he is DASHING your way !! he will wipe the sniffles away </3

PLS AIMSIES my heart gets so warm when you talk about me and tinky </3 YOU’RE SO RIGHT !! ( gojo reference? jk ) the little things always mean the mostest sob :,) OHHH MY GOODNESS PALEASEEE !! he is always kissin’ me every chance he gets </3 sometimes its a fast lil peck and other times he’s goin’ in for the kill with a big huge smooch ( he definitely exaggerates the kissy noises LMAO ) SOB !! oh how i love that man to pieces </3 AND OH HOW I LOVE YOU AND KUROO !! KUROMY !! MY OTP !! >.<

oh my goodness FUNNEL CAKE !! how did i guess ?! i am SUCH a foodie too, snacks on snacks for real !! i could for sure imagine kuroo not even having to ask, he just see’s that lil look in your eyes and he’s immediately standing in line to grab you that yummy treat !! EXACTLY OMG nostalgia ALWAYS makes food taste so much better !! :0

EEEEP ME AND TINKY TIME YIPEEE !! i’ll do a different version than last time for this cutesie question, im always thinking of so many different ways it would go !! >.<

so kou actually confessed to me in college when i was sick :( we were always together all the time and when he found out i was under the weather, he came to my dorm with some soup and a bouquet of flowers, he even had a get well soon card <3 he was hugging me and taking care of me, and i told him he would get sick if he stayed around me, but he said “well i don’t care if i get sick, i need to make sure you’re all better so i can ask you to be my girlfriend!” sniff !! it was the cutest thing ever and i was SO surprised !! he definitely didn’t mean to blurt it out like that but i was sniffing and crying all sickly but happy because oh my goodness, he practically had just confessed already !! i was over the moon :( he did end up asking me to be his girlfriend while i was still sick, and he stayed with me until i was all better <3 WHAT A SWEETHEART !!

but but, now it’s time for KUROMY QUESTION !!

what’s you and kuroo’s favorite movie/tv show to watch together ? is it a sad movie, comedy, action, i MUST know !!

I LOVE YOU MORE AIMSIES im proudly wearing my lil flower crown with you while we frolic around in the spring flowers this lovely season <3 IM SENDING YOU SOSOSOSO MANY SMOOCHES AND HUGS MY PRECIOUS STARLIGHT AIMSIES !! MWUAHHHH <3

- :3

HELLO BELOVED :3 !!!!!! getting cozy rn and ready to respond to your ask <3 im so sorry for the delay T^T !

i’m doing so well these days tbh !! this week has been super nice bc i feel like the new moon is letting me shed a lot of old feelings and leading me towards a new beginning !! what about you ?? how’s spring treating you??

an ice cream date sounds so so good , one of my mooties wrote a lil fic about bokuto + ice cream dates hehe if ya wanna read it ill link it here ! but i bet it was so nice :3 does bokuto love trying a bunch of diff flavors? or does he always get the same thing ?? i must know !!

you and me when we rule the arcade .. ultimate summer vibes omg . the boys don’t know what happened but they’re so quick to turn around and start cheering for us !! we need to team up and kick their butts fr hehe <3

SOB UR SO SWEET !! u def gave me a warm welcome back and every ask you send just lights up this lil bloggie even more !! you’re a ray of sunshine and always so refreshing to chat with :’) !!! YOU HAVE THE BEST VIBES !!

omg yes the ragdoll kitty !!! they’re soo so fluffy i could see your tinky being like that :’) kuroo doodles him and bokuto together all the time … I SWEAR !! so if he’s a ragdoll, what kind of kitty would you be ?? i always have a hard time picking which one i would be </3

KUROO TOOK ME TO THE BEACH !! he wanted to welcome the warmer weather and we got a lil condo and soaked up the sun all weekend !! his nose got burnt tho… poor fella. i told him to keep applying sunscreen !!! i kissed it all better tho dw hehe

bokuto + making exaggerated kissy noises makes sm sense HEHEEH he seems like the kind of guy who would just shower you with affection & physical touch !! always wanting to have his arm around you or his lips pressed against your cheek , he’s obsessed !

omg fellow foodie :’) !!! I LOVE !! kuroo def knows the drill now. if i see food, he knows by the lil glint in my eye that ill wanna try it and he drags me over there before i can say a word !! i like to think we’re very attune to one another !

WAAAH BOKUTO STAYING WITH YOU AND MAKING SURE YOURE FEELING OKAY !!! what a sweetheart ! and the fact he brought flowers & soup, he’s so smitten hehe im so in love with all the different ways you guys show love for each other !! and the confession eeep !!!

oooo kuroo and i watch anything tbh !! i like to go for comedies and rom coms .. he swears he doesn’t like romcoms BUT i always catch him invested and shedding a tear or two at the end !! we also enjoy watching something with some sci fi ! i think kuroo enjoys marvel & star wars and stuff like that so we try to keep up with the latest !

TINKY TIME ! okay , if you could live in any au (besides modern) with tinky, what would it be ?? i must know ! would you see yourselves together in a royal au or street racer au or anything tbh !!!

MWAAAH I LOVE U !! i hope ur doing well <3 we are taking our flower crowns and skipping down along the cherry blossom path together !!!!

[kusundei]

yeah no it hit me. hitting me now and i cant stop crying i feel sick like im goijgnto throw yp nobody is home which is good but oh my god the silence is deafening . i hate being like that hecahse theyre not my family irs not my home i can be welcomed but i am not WELCOMED completely there but god oh my god this is not my home i keep forgetting how much i fuckign hate this house i hate it so much i hate it. i hate it i hate it i hate it i feel so awful i cant. i cant i cant i cant i knew in the car . i mean i ghess its nice having my stuff back or whatevevr but j know whats gling to happen when my mom gets home and i know im just goign to get upset again and ill lose it all again and ill just have to keep doijg what ive eben doing. make it to the end of the qeek. end of the month. till the next trip. i didnt feel like that w him i was so so oso happy andnnow i just feel soooo. empty. so emoty there is nothijg here. this is not a home this is a house . a shell rhat holds all my jtems but not the memories attached to it. it is a placeholder i do not like it here. butt hen again i would rather take this silence than anythijg out of my moms mouth im so scared? for no reason? im acting like. Idont know my mom i know her. i know her ive been w her all my life why am i horrified. why am i wishing dor pther things why do i keep being so upset im here im home. im at my house. this is where i live i did not live there. they are not my family they r just kind. i. Cant im just so overwjelmingly sad and i dont have anybtjjg i have this hoodie and that is all and its making me sick . im sososo upset and j hate it why am i so upset ???? i judt keep thinking abotue veryhring. all the small thinfs just the simple things and idk the house in general i felt so comfortable. so okay there. its the same ahit w panic attacks im not ypsed to them anymore so they hit so much worse now and im not used to being “home” so its worse. i need to stop taking advantage of everyhrign and just take what i am given because i cant change my circumstances . thats hust what is the most upsettiing part idk i justj i want to. lay in bed. bht not my bed. my bed is not my bed. i sat on it and i felt ill. i cant lay there i know ill start twekaing ebcayse its not his bed and i hate being likr thsj ebcause its not mine?? its his stuff??? hjs families????? but fuck oh my god i cant im so sooso so upset and jfs making me so frustratedwith mmyself because what the fuck

jmssn im fine imjsjr like. im. im here. unfortunately. ill calm down after a bit its not like ajax has left yet hes still here. im jusf. i. fontlike it here. and my mom just came home fuck

i cant i feel sick. sick sick sick im fucking sick and idk what to do i feel sooo sosoo dramatic. plus im not even like ALONE i cant do anything his mom is right in front of me this is mortifying??? i just like cant stop shaking and i feel heavy. like i feel the weight of my body and its making me evil. i just cant stop thinking about it and in trying to rationalize. im okay its okay he’ll come back??? i left too. i knew he was going to go. i knew staying wt his house for as long as i did was goinf to kill me once i went back. i knew i knew i knew. i know and yet its still as bad as it is despite how much ive thought about it. i thought ifnoring it would save me or acknowledging it and prepping dor it would but nope. not saving me. making it worse.

Its just everythint thats happened these past few weeks keep replaying in my head and its like jesus chrisr. what the fuck im never getting this back? the time i spejt wirh him these past few weeks r probabky somethijg i will not experience again. at least not for a long time and not to this extent. being with him for that long keeps reminding me of how much i cant like? function? without him? its weird like of course i can function. but i shut down as a person. im not. happy. i dont think. its just it really occurred to me last night and i still feel awful i didnt finish his hw. if i have time i’ll do it and ask him dor his like login and turn it in for him but no i sat there for a while and just. it was tfb. i know it was they make ne EVIL i just kept remembering oh hes leaving. in a few hours. i did not want to sleep. couldnt. but i couldnt be evil either because i cant do that to him??? its so hypocriticalcbut its just like no he was already crying earlier i cant worry him like that. im nonchalant…… though i know he knew its just like. im okay enough. i know i couldve cried last night. not saying i didnt i did jusr a little. held myself in front of the fan cause i was forcing myself to be cold to stay awake and then just. idk. prevented me from crying i think? its just i laid with him and i kept thinking. oh this is the last time ill lay with him like rhis for q while. to sleep here w him. kiss him and just be in the same space and be simple and go out late at night and talk about random shit and not get wnything done and just be. to exist. it makes me sick. why cant i keep playing house forever? but no fuck that i dojt want to PLAY house i want to live it. i think truly these past few weeks may have made me selfish. at my core i know how i am and he says it all the time but you give me an inch ill take a mile ? or something along those lines its nust like . i cant? ive been shown something. given an opportunity. a life for a short amt of time incwhich i finally felt okay consistently? without feeling condemned? sick? evil? not saying it wouldnt happen every once in a while. of course it did i just sorta pushed it away because im taking in all the time i spent w gim and basking in that instead. i just keep thinkijg of how i mustve taken it for granted and not appreciated it enough maybe.

i know ill get back home and feel it again. it’ll hit me in full swing because ik myself. ill sit in my room and reqlise just where i am. how my life is and i cant escape the life ive been given. my circumstances and my life and everything i know i cant escape that. i cant escape my mom at least not for a long time and rhats the thing that weighs me down the most. im just tryijg to truly fight the feeling till i get home ? i wont tweak fully till i do. i know i will though. ive been fighting the same (ish) tweak for the past few weeks. i knew and i know. where i want to be still seems a thousand miles away ^_^ and pretendijg we feel safe right here gets harder everyday …. Heh. heheh. heh. i cant

[mysterystarz]

AAAA NOVA BABE CONGRATULATIONS ON 100!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU GROW EVEN MORE OMGHGQEWJD IM SO HAPPY FOR YA<333

mmm can i participate in your event? take your time to respond though i dont want you to feel pressured>:||

-> mmm my pronouns are she/her, and my gender preference is male why do i always spell preference wrong ew

-> my mbti is estj-t! i don't know what an enneagram is sobs

-> my love languages that i like receiving are physical touch and words of affirmation, but i usually give words of affirmation and acts of service

-> sososo i'm pretty enthusiastic, indecisive, and super apologetic, but i'm also really stubborn and pushy. i'm a good listener, but i hate it when things are disorganized and i'm really impatient. i also make friends..really easily but it seems that i lose them after they get to know me gjwheiarjwr

-> mmm my hobbies are volleyball, piano, chess and uhuhuh ..writing

-> i..have not had a partner so thats a difficult questionrwbeajare but i'd like someone who can handle me, yknow? like they're able to understand who i am and all of my quirks, but they also know what to do to keep me in check. i'd also like someone who's just there as a shoulder to cry on, and respects my boundaries and understands what i'm comfortable with and what i'm not

-> HAHAHA mmm this is a great question i would hate it if someone insulted me daily, even if it was meant as a joke, i take things way too personally. i also um would vv much dislike it if they tried to break through comfortable boundaries, like um please respect what im comfy with

-> MMM IM REALLY ANNOYING AND I YELL WAY TOO OFTEN, i also don't get voice cracks often..people tell me my voice is soothing

AAAA NOVA I KNOW I'VE SAID IT SEVERAL TIMES BUT CONGRATS ON 100 OGMWJERADBAER I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOUR BLOG GROW EVEN MORE<33333

your cosmic matchup is…iwaizumi hajime!

runnerups: kita shinsuke, yaku morisuke

YOUR TROPES ARE:

» friends to lovers - you and iwaizumi started out as friends, with him extending his caring tendencies onto you, making sure that you were always okay and cared for. one day, when you injured yourself, he found himself running all the way over to wherever you were if only to slow the panic that grew steadily in his chest. that's when he realized that perhaps he cared for you more than a normal friend would because he loved you and respected you more than anyone else he'd ever known. that's when he made it known, and that's how the two of you became one of the most iconic couples.

» fake relationship - iwaizumi needed someone to get oikawa off his back about dating, which is why he came to you, wondering if you were willing to "date" him for just a month and then return to your normal time once that amount of time was up. what you both didn't expect was for him to be someone who cared for you, grounded you, and respected your boundaries, all while being great company. he always tells you that you were doing great on particularly hard days, and never hesitated to help you make decisions when you couldn't yourself. iwaizumi was also fond of your tiny acts of services, like how you got him snacks before volleyball practice and even offered to play with him on weekends. eventually, both of you caught real feelings, and fake feelings became real. (i feel like this sorta situation is right up your alley)

» office romance - you work for iwaizumi in a reputable company, and contrary to the rumors you've heard about him, he's a perfectly good boss who allows you breaks in between projects and lets you go home early some days to keep you from overworking yourself. eventually, you realize that his gruff and caring nature (and those arms) are some traits that you find him attractive for and begin crushing on him (albeit from afar). eventually, at one of the office parties that was hosted, he came clean and told you the depth of his feelings for you, and you took it from there. (i headcanon this being a sort of arrangement in which the two of you cooperate in-office professionally but mingle straight after)

» soulmates - you had the tattoo of a volleyball on your shoulder, a key mark that you'd come to share with someone. you didn't expect that someone to be a tall volleyball player with a tendency to worry for people he cared about (you, always you) and always go out of his way to make sure that you were comfortable in any number of situations. he'd do it gladly, again and again, as long as you were the one in his arms at the end of the day. (he'd take care of you and respect you so well)

MUTALS EXTRA: a love letter <3

Dear Angie,

There are some days when you are all that roams my mind, and I can't say that it's a bad thing. You've always been a steady force in my life, pushing me towards greater things while showing me the affection I never knew, and I can never say thank you enough, because every moment you're with me is a moment I treasure deeply. I love you for all of your impatience, and drive, the way you're willing to understand me, and for the way you've allowed me to understand you. I'm in love with you for the cutest habits you have, and for the time spent between us where we can just, be. You're the calm to my storm, and I love you more than I've ever loved anyone.

My heart is yours always, 𝒽𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓂𝑒

a/n: i hope you enjoy this because i actually thought this one through quite thoroughly ;>

[burnedbyshoto]

anon: The artist @franeridart answers all of their asks in one mass post with a read more link so maybe you could try that as well. That way you could answer everyones ask but not spam anyones dash with all of your replys

you genius anon, and you genius artist! I just feel like as of late I have been getting a lot more things in my askbox, and I dont want to overwhelm anyone with spam. so, I will be creating these! unless it’s for y’all thirsty hoes asking for extra parts or whatever from very recent posts, expect this to happen every so often! the rest will be below cut. also first time using photoshop? how’d I do yall??? and also like.... let me know if you like this idea??? if not i’ll just resort to spam :)

@your-parental-figure : IK BUT DETECTIVE GUY CONSIDERED BOTH TOKOYAMI AND KIRI TO BE ALL MIGJTS SUCCESSOR DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MENT??? THAT MOMENT WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN AND SOLVED WORLD HUNGER

oh season four episode one, you may have been a filler, but you made me so happy to watch. honestly ngl, I was pretty surprised when he said kiri, not because he has no potential, but because it seemed like the top 4 from the sports festival, bUT FUCK YEAH KIRI AND TOKOYAMI!!!!! IN A DIFFERENT WORLD IT COULDVE BEEN THEM!!!!!

anon: Makeup smut for villain Deku should be good. 100% tender, no chicken

honestly, my favorite thing at this point is seeing you all crumble in fear if i’ll even give you a happy ending, and tbh idk if it will be for villain!deku >:)

@ohmycolie: So it’s Saturday night and I’m just sitting at home 🤦🏼‍♀️ could you maybe do a scenario where Bakubaby and Kiri decide to bring Kami into their sexcapades and after their little adventure Kiri is like “can we keep him?” 🤤💕

hi bby, while I can imagine something of this sort I am only a “x reader” blog :( so while its good thirst, I won’t be writing anything about it, sorry :( ily tho!

@michealsheep: Honestly is shiggy ended me after an intense nut like that I’d just thank him

honestly, I want shiggy just to end me??? whatta way to go. death by fucking nut.

bigdickkiri: I don’t get ship wars. Why do people wanna be so mean? It’s so easy to not be a part of any a that.if everyone appropriately tagged their posts, blacklisted rags they don’t like and didn’t act bitchy then they wouldn’t be an issue. - bigdickkiri

neither do I honestly. they’re just people looking for drama at this point, and it’s like... come on... you’re 25... stop

bigdickkiri: What a fantastic evening to tell my favourite writers that I adore them and that they're amazing! Look after yourself and have a gorgeous day! ❤️💙❤️💙 - bigdickkiri

I’m literally the worst. but um, I adore you so much, and I think you’re amazing!!!!! its 2am rn, but I can’t sleep anyways

🍒💥anon: Girl, your blog is having a glo up!!! I love it!! So pretty 👌 How are you doing today? Are you taking care of yourself? *sending good vibes and virtual hugs your way* -🍒💥

teehee, thank you for noticing!!!!!! i’m not 100% happy with it rn, but I haven’t had the time to get it perfect!!! wait a few more weeks and when I have actual down time, im fixing it >:) also, I am doing well, a lot of caretaking today! I never take care of myseld! *accepts the good vibes and virtual hugs because I am touch starved*

anon: I'm part of the protect uraraka squad!!! ♡

me too boo! you wanna fight me on my mochi loving girl meet me on the corner of my fists and in your faCE!!!!! (is this considered cyberbullying?)

anon: WTF @ THAT ANGST I M SAD NOW

this was in regard to my fic “because of you” which I posted because I was in a crying mood. HAHAHAHAHA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD I WINNNNNNNN

@joyfullydawn: I just wanted to say you're heccin' amazing??? The fact you named that roommate one "And they were roommates" I just--yes. This is more than ok. This is excellent. Please keep being awesome aaaa

and they were roommates was the first series I had, and the thing I did in celebration for 100 followers.... jesus that feels so long ago and not in fact less than two months ago!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I should reblog my old works so you newer lovely followers can read them!!!!!

anon: would u ever do a part 2 to under the mistletoe with aizawa? its so sad and i just want them to be HAPPY

I am planning on doing it!!!!! it’s in my requests, so no worriesssss ;)

hermana anon: hermana that todo angst 🥺🥺you’re literally the best angst writer jdjdbd

okay but for real do I write actually good angst??? asking for a friend..... and HGAIGHJIAORGHUOG THAKN YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT!!!! PLEASE RECOMMEND ME ANGST FICS BECAUSE I LOVE CRYINGGGG

🍒✨ anon: this has literally nothing to do with anything that’s on your account right now but do you think that dabi sends shoto happy birthday messages? i like to think he does because even if he’s a villain, he still lowkey care about his siblings - 🍒✨

this was from a very long ass time ago, and im sorry I never responded to you sparkle cherry anon, but I definitely do believe that he sends birthday cards. with his baby bro’s increase in his fangirl club, he now is unafraid to send shouto a card. its always the only one that catches shouto’s attention when he goes through them because they’re weirdly personal. shouto, being a smart yet dense idiot, believes its someone in the class pranking him.

~ I won’t be posting these messages, but they were from awhile ago when I was hitting a rough patch with my insecurity as a writer and my ability to give my all to you. there are many of you, 19 messages in total, where you told me why you loved my writing. I never responded to them because they make me cry even now looking back at them. to each and every anon, I thank you for saying those kind words. to @saladsharkz, @thecryingsombra, @olivenight17, @shutupwylow, @expressyourstarstruckrebel, and @awkward-theaterkid thank you as well. there is another non anon, but they asked not to be revealed. thank you so sososo much.

~ I will not be posting these as well, because again, drama from awhile ago. but this was in regard to the anon who did not like the kinklist I had created for kinktober. while now I think I am doing a pretty damn good job, and no one has said otherwise, to the 2 anons, @connors-my-boy, and bigdickkiri, thank you for fighting an anon that was never your responsibility to take <3

@w0w-s0-3dgy: u make me uwu so much🥺❤️ I LOVE YOUR PAGE BABE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL!

BBY I LOVE YOU AND I AM DOING WELL NOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY PAGE LITERALLY WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?!?!??!!

anon: You followed me and idk if it was just to be nice or if you want to be friends or what hdhakanskenebdhsiq

im starting to follow back people that make me happy. it’s been awhile since ive been on a followspree, but I follow you back when i see kind messages from you, when I see that you’ve liked so many of my horrible posts, when you reblog my things with the most amazing tags. I follow you because I want to be your friend, you’re always welcomed to be my friend!!! hell you can literally be like “bitch listen to this” and never once having spoken to me I will respond with “give me the fucking chisme my queen”

anon: *gives u an encouraging and comforting yeehaw*

now.... now I can conquer the world, thank you

anon: Hi! I love the way you're writing things for kinktober, and I'd personally love if you could reblog what you're writing multiple times because I'm at uni most of the day so I miss out on a lot. Pd. I absolutely adore your writing! Please keep up ❤

I AM TRYING TO REBLOG MY STORIES NOW BUT OMGNGSOUHFIPA YOU LIKE HOW I WRITE?!?!?!??!?!?!

heathers anon: Its the anon who sent the Dabi heather au. I send it because i know your popular and a lot of popular blogs check your blogs. And I honestly struggle with other blogs because they ignored most of my asks.

teehee, I appreciate you thinking im a popular blog and that other popular blogs check mine, but thats not true!!! sorry for never responding back, but i’m sure they’re not meaning to ignore you on purpose. there’s just so much happening things get buried!

@sinnaminsvga : we're both alyssa so it's really interesting to see the nicknames u use bc i see you use lyssa and i got the nickname ari and i think that's pretty neat how we both have the same name but wildly different nicknames

it don’t matter, we be alyssa twinsies!!!!!!!!!!

anon: I was just going through your master list, cause I’m in a stunning mood and why not make a good mood better? and I saw bakugous “sickness and that word I can’t spell” got hella happy for a sec CAUSE YES THAT WAS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVED IT. Then I remembered the heart shattering angst that came with Todos side. So like. Ily but you a meanie.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WE LOVE SUFFERING!!!!!! I just... really have a thing for angst it seems... don’t tell my followers though, im in denial over it...

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

[jupiterparker]

Lies (p.p)

Words count: 1.6k

Paring: Peter Parker x Reader 

Warnings: unedited, but what else is new

A/N: school is out for me! So im opening requests now. Enjoy :)

Masterlist

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"I'm telling you - the guy was a complete stranger, just walked up and gave me the bag” Peter told you, his ears ringing from your scream when you waked on him wearing the Spiderman suit. “You’re trying to tell me right now, that this” you said, gesturing to the suit, “isn’t the real thing, the suit, I’m sorry costume that has web shooters? Really, do I look that gullible?” You asked, putting Peter in a difficult position. See, if Peter said yes, he knew you would get offended and mad at him, not matter how playful it was, he didn’t want to see that. On the other hand, if he said no, that would be another lie he told you, and he knew you hated, no despised lies, the first lie being Peter not telling you he was Spiderman.

See, you’ve known Peter since you were kids. Through all the lows and ups in his and your lives, you both were there. When something happened, no matter how small or big it was, the other would be the first to know, even before your own parents. And being Spiderman was pretty big to say the least. And Peter had lied about it.

The thing with you and lies is from when you were 5 years old, you were told a lie by your dad. He said, “I’ll be fine, nothing major has happened, you will see me tomorrow and we will finish the book.” He had told you that as he was being loaded into an ambulance, because of some bad sickness. While you knew that you dad lied to you so you would be happy, and that he didn’t know he would die that night, you were still hurt. And even though you knew that was illogical, when you had found out the truth, you were mad, and you needed to be mad at someone, so you spent a year blaming your dad for his lie, as a way of mourning, no matter how mad it was. 

And Peter knew this, thats why he always tried to never lie to you, and if he had to, he would try his best to just tell you he couldn’t tell you or otherwise he would have to lie, and that would usually cover it. But when the topic of Spiderman came up during lunch, you asked Peter “hey, you know with your reporting, do you know who Spiderman is? Does he go here?” And poor Peter was stuck between keeping you safe or lying to you, which would still hurt you, it was a lose-lose situation. So he lied, hoping it would be better.

So again back to where you were right now with Peter, you were furious. You saw hesitation in Peter’s answer, and was so worried that he was going to lie to your face again, starting to lose trust in him. If you lost trust in Peter, there would be no one in the world who you would trust. But you sighed with relief when Peter told you “It’s not that I thought you were gullible, its just that I was hoping you wouldn’t know that I was Spiderman, I was hoping to mislead you from it” he looked down, sad as he admitted that he was trying to lie to you about something.

You looked at him, took a deep breath and walked out of his room, slamming the apartment door in his face as you left. You could hear Peter calling your name as you walked home.

Now you were the one at crossroads, you could be mad at Peter for lying and just cut it off there, and thats what you would have done to anybody, but this was Peter for gods sake, he knew your history and wouldn’t lie for no reason. You left because you knew that Peter had some reasoning, no matter how stupid, that told him that there were more pros then cons about lying to you about Spiderman. So you left, you left so you could get space and figure it out. You just hoped that this wouldn’t be the last couple hours of your friendship with Peter.

Coming home, you muttered hi to your mom, going into your room to make a list of pros and cons about you knowing about Spiderman on your whiteboard. You started at it, thinking about Peter. 

While you were doing that for the next couple hours, Peter was a mess. He knew that being a superhero was messy, and he knew that he had to do this for the greater good and for you, but it hurt to see you so mad over Peter trying to keep you safe. He could only hope that you would see it that way. And you did.

You did, because like 6 hours later, at like 3 in the morning, you had finished the list and took some steps back to look at everything. On the pro side, there were a couple things to say the least. It showed you that Peter didn’t want you getting attacked or hurt, even if it hurt him. Because looking at the con side, you saw the cons hurt him more than you. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it, because even if Ned knew already, you knew that he would try and ask a lot of questions, and you didn’t know if Peter was getting any additional support. Second of all, when he got hurt, and you knew he got hurt cause you had seen the Spiderman videos, he had to patch them up himself. The only con that really hurt you was the lie. And while it still hurt, you knew it was justified, and you weren’t 8 anymore, so you could live with that lie.

Looking at your clock and seeing that it was so late, you wondered if Peter was still up, and reached for your phone to look up Spiderman sightings. And sure enough, he was up and active. At least it wasn’t a school day tomorrow, well today.

Getting up, you snuck out, leaving a note for your mom just in case she woke up, so she didn’t freak out. Once that was taken care of, you ran to the latest sighting, barely running into him.

“Spiderman!” You yelled, getting his attention. He was alert, looking for the scream, worried about what danger was there, and got startled when he saw it was you. He thought that you would try and avoid him for the rest of your live, but by the looks of it, you weren’t plus, on an added bonus, it didn’t look like you were mad at him. 

He jumped down from the window ledge he was on, landing in front of you. “Y/N” he whispered, pulling you into a hug. You felt a little bad, because up close you saw that you had caused him to worry, but you needed the space so this situation wouldn’t escalate. He got ready to apologize to you, ready to explain himself, but you beat him to it, telling him “Look Peter” whispering his name, “I get why you lied to me about this, and while yeah it sucks that you lied to me, I understand why you did. Im not going to mad at you on one condition, you come to me to patch you up instead of doing it yourself or going to Ned, cause I know neither of you know first aid, and I actually do” you told him, adding the contain as you remembered the con on the white board, and you anyway wanted to become a doctor, so it was kinda fitting. 

“Y/N, I’m sososo sorr- Wait what” he told you, cutting himself off once he realized what you said. “You’re not mad at me? You understand, how? And its okay I can do the first aid myself. And how did you know about Ned???” He started bombarding you with questions. “Okay slow down miter”, you said, stopping him, “First of all, I'm not mad, and I understand cause I spent 6 hours working on a pro and con list, thats why I left. I was mad, but knew you lied for a reason so I wanted to figure it out before talking so our friendship wouldn’t end today in a screaming match. Third of all, NO WAY ARE YOU DOING FIRST AID. ARE YOU FORGETTING WHICH ONE OF US IS GOING TO BECOME A DOCTOR AND ACTUALLY KNOWS FIRST AID?? Idiot”, you said laughing at that, elbowing him before answering his last question, “I knew about Ned once you told me about Spiderman because I connected the dots of Ned doing a terrible job acting whenever Spiderman is mention, which my I add, he brings it up like 99% of the time, like??” You told him. 

You both just sighed, happy for the peaceful ending after a busy and eventful day. You looked around, realizing it was around 4 and you two were still in the middle of the street. “Peter”, you started, making him a little more alert as he was starting do dose of sleeping, “go to sleep, we can talk more once we both have slept for sometime. He started to argue, but so tired it just looked like he was mumbling gibberish while making weird sluggish hand motions. He sighed, giving up the fight as he was to tired, and left to go home, mumbling what seemed to say bye. You watched as he started going home, only to get slightly sidetracked helping what seemed to be an old lady crossing the street at 4 in the morning? Okay then. You laughed, smiling at how selfless and caring Peter was, before heading back to your house, as you were ready to fall asleep right there also. Peter was truly amazing.

Permanent Taglist: @djjffkd, @pallored, @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl

Peter Parker Taglist: @what-is-yeet, @lubrielx

@penisprkr

Ask or DM me if you want to be added to my taglist! Also please request stuff, I have a lot of time now :)

[fivesumbrella]

one person asked and im here to deliver lmao ok here goes:

1. Name: Rawand�� 2. Zodiac sign: Leo but tbh in my heart I’m low/highkey a cancer bc im a lover not a fighter and im a soft cookie but don’t @ me 3. Current fav song: RIPScrew by Travis Scott/When I was Older by Billie Eilish 4. Favorite word: I LOVE the word cobalt I think it just rolls off the tongue nicely 5. Favorite food: I feel like I would drink iced coffee all day if I could tolerate it but I love raw tomatoes theyre baby guys pls give it a try and leave a thumbs up 6. Do you play video games?: no but I kinda wanna learn to play fortnite even though I know I’m mentally incompetent but the important thing is that everyones a winner and we’re all in this together,, 7. Biggest fear: omg I have this raging concern when it comes to the state of my future which is normal millennial but also I’m highkey always thinking about how God awful I am in literally any type of relationship and really just think I’m constantly setting myself up for failure for what couldve been who knows 8. Favorite season: SPRING is so nice?? a happy medium hybrid of summer and winter, imagine that kind of stability tbh, between 2 extremes?? wildt 9. Something you miss from your childhood: the ‘you are my sunshine’ lullaby, being casually free + blissfully unaware, and junior mints 10. Are you currently excited abt anything: living alone sounds like a fever dream ngl 11. When and where do you feel most at peace: Yesterday we drove up a mountain and I got so sleepy because it was the dreamiest and lulling experience and I think its just a lovely getaway, especially during breezy nights 12. What superpower would you have: would you believe this was the hardest question out of this entire list omf I’m gonna settle for invisibility bc not everyone needs to see me 24/7 give a bicth some space?? 13. What makes you smile: I get SO happy when others give me compliments on little things and antics I have (praise kink much??) but also I get soft feels when I get second hand embarassment from ppl or characters I love and that makes me sososo happy yknow?  14. Do you play sports?: this bitch is SEDENTARY almost 25/7 I have the most underdeveloped bone structure omfg that one is on my parents 15. Biggest pet peeve: when ppl walk slow,, even if I’m not in a rush I just can’t stand the slow staggering tbh, also when ppl comment unneccessarily and out of turn I honestly feel the life getting sucked out of me I just get so depressed 16. Are you vegan/vegetarian: I was for 4 years but I developed some vitamin deficiencies and now Aidan is medium-key shaming me and its making me wanna go back skjskjd 17. Ever skipped school?: One time in my senior year it just so happened to be senior skip day but I showed up anyways and I hid in the bathroom for like 3 hours bc I looked so ugly that day and then the school called my mom and she came + spoke to the principal and I got sent home for skipping class but thats the price you pay when ur an uglie like me, 18. Where would you like to live: A place thats not humid pls ): my hair has suffered enough, she doesnt need all that extra hydration I drink enough water already I promise 19. Sexual orientation?: Kinda dont care abt my own labels but ace sounds good to me 20. Biggest obsession: Don’t tell anyone but I’ve had various 1D blogs since I was 12 thank you sm for making it this far I really am the worst

Selfie:

kinda wanna make an ‘all about me’ post and even post a selfie but 1) im (h)ugly and 2) im boring af